This blog is intended to help me deal with the issues I am facing with IF(infertility). I release a lot of stress while writing. My hope is that others dealing with IF or trying to get pregnant will be able to read this as well and be able to relate or heck, make you feel better about yourself and your issues. Warning: This blog may contain strong language that may be not suitable for children and easily offended people. With that being said read at your own risk:) You've been warned!

Saturday, August 21, 2010


I forgot I had a blog! It has been awhile since my last post. Quick update cycle 14 was a bust I got the bitch last Friday. I started Clomid on Sunday and took my last pill on Thursday night. I usually don't get the typical side effects from meds, however I got hit hard with s/e with Clomid. Some of them were : Intense hot flashes, mood swings ( was was a raging bitch one minute and an angel the next minute), and night sweats. I am a sweaty sleeper (I know its gross, but get over it ;) but this was unreal! Each week I go to a tanning salon and get spray tanned, well I basically sweated off my spray tan this week while sleeping! I woke up to what once was a white t shirt when I went to bed ended up being brown when I woke up! I also get hot flashes when I have a mood change or they just sneak up and bite me in the ass!
This also was the first week of school! Not a great week to start meds that mess with hormones! We picked up our Pregnyl from Kohll's today. I stared crying in the parking lot when I saw the inject needle. I keep telling myself " All for a baby". We have our first ultrasound appointment Tuesday so check the growth of the follies (follicles) and schedule or get an idea of when the insemination for IUI will take place. It is starting to get surreal.

I am getting a hot flash just sitting here typing.........

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

It's on like Donkey Kong!

We met with our RE today. She explained our next steps. We are going to be heading to IUI next cycle. After talking to her I am getting very hopeful that this is it! On cycle day 3 I will start taking Clomid-50mg. until day 7. On day 12 I will go in for a trans vag ultrasound to check the follicle growth. Once she sees they are about 2 cm I will trigger or get a shot of Pregnyl ( funny side note about Pregnyl, it is infused with pee from pregnant women). 12 hours after the trigger hubs will have to give a fresh semen sample which will be process and all the good spermies will be separated and prepared for insemination. About an hour later I will go into the clinic and they will "inseminate me". If you think about this, it is really not fair. I mean hubs gets to have "pleasure by way of masturbation" and I get a thin catheter shoved up there:) Dr. L believes we have an excellent chance of conceiving with IUI. FINGERS crossed.

P.S.-Wouldn't it be a kicker if I ended up pregnant with this month's Hail Mary????

Monday, August 2, 2010

I would like to thank the.....

On this blog with my total of 7 posts it seems to me I do a lot of complaining. So I decided to have a change of tide. This post is going to be dedicated to those who have made my journey a little easier.
First off....
My bestie, my first follower of my so called blog. Mrs. F has made my journey bearable. I love this girl so much. Sweetie, you will never know how much you have helped me. I love how we can have 2 30 minutes convos a day and talk about so many different things. And, yes, WE (the three of us) are in this together! Love you to pieces

A, L, W, J thanks for listening to me bitch all the time about not having a baby!( and for the wonderful drinks and dinner we had tonight)

And most of all...
HUBS! I love you so much and you have made this journey a memorable one. No matter how much this tries to take us down we always prevail. Thanks for everything! You are stronger than you think! LOVE YOU!

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Okay, I have been working REALLY hard on being a good person today! It has been so hard! I had a friend who had a baby yesterday. I had to block her in my FB feed for awhile now. Every post had to do with something about her being pregnant. Every.Single.Post. I got sick of it real fast. So to save my sanity I hid her. She is a good person but I have a hard time believing that she is ready for motherhood. Anywho, she had her baby 2 weeks early yesterday and I am really having a hard time being happy for her. There are a couple reasons. Number 1 being that her and her husband didn't have the best relationship considering they had only been married 6 months when she got pg. It was almost like they got pregnant to save their marriage. I mean they had fights about having a baby. Weird stuff. Babies don't fix things. Reason numeral dos that I am having a hard time with this is because of IF. If you struggled getting pg it is really hard to see people get what you want even though you feel like you've work harder and deserve some payment on this hardwork. This hits me hard because we have been start TTC months before they did and now they have a baby. I am trying to be happy for them but my give a shit meter must be broken because it is still at zero. Hubs says I need to get over myself. He got a wonderful flip of a very distinguished finger to the face. Grr!