I'm baaack!

Finally, after a 2 month hiatus, I have decided to give blogging a second chance. Thanks Mrs. F, for talking me back into it. Let me catch you up on the last two hellish months. Our 3rd IUI was a giant fail. We went in with 3 mature eggs and 9 million sperm and nada, zip, zilch. We were both devastated and angry. Both of which really weighed on our marriage. So we made an executive decision to take a treatment break for financial and emotional reasons. Since then I have started working with a trainer at my gym. He is the bomb diggity and has helped me tremendously focus my energy in other areas of my life. For cycle 18 we decided to try a non-treatment cycle( notice how I didn't say "natural" cycle) which ended up being another fat fail. We are currently on cycle 19 and are completing another non-treatment cycle. We are very hopeful for this cycle so we don't have to re-enter the horrendous world of treatment again. I am also beginning to train for a half-marathon in May. I did one last year and loved every minute of it. I will be completing this on the day after we return from FLORIDA!!! We will be going to Florida for a family vacay for a week in April. Can't wait, literally, can't wait. I will begin blogging not only about our infertility battles but about my battles on the treadmill. The treadmill and I are not friends, we have a love hate relationship which stemmed from running close to 200 miles last year for training for the half. I have made a resolution to blog at least 2 times a week, so America, as in the words of the Terminator, I'll be back.....

Here We Go Again!

This HAS to be a record two posts with in a week?? What?!?!?! I told you I was going to get better at this. Since Saturday I have been really trying to focus on things that make me happy instead of things that bring me down. We will have our IUI #3 on Friday at 10:15. Lucky number 3??? I hope so! We will "trigger" tomorrow morning. Here is a picture of the needle and the vials....

Lame

I know I have to be the worst blogger in the history of the world. To catch up, our second IUI was a fail, again. Everything looked great on paper. Great lining, fast response, hub's numbers were much better than last time. But in the end, it just didn't work out I guess. To make matters worse, two of my best friends have informed me that they are pregnant. God dammit. I am happy for them, really I am, but when is it ever going to be my turn???
So we are now on Cycle 17.Ughh. I am on Clomid again, a higher dose than last time. I really hate Clomid. It makes me crazy. I am bi-polar while on this medication. If this cycle doesn't work, then we are going to have to take a break from medicated cycles and go back to the old fashioned way. We are complete out of pocket with any treatments. Boo.

Fail

Yep, that is the only word I can use to describe my ability to blog. My goal for October will be to update this damn thing once a week! Promise........ To get y'all up to date. IUI 1 was a fail. Started Femara last weekend, finished it up on Thursday. Will go in on Tuesday for a follie scan. Feeling kind of good about this cycle for some reason or it could be the couple of beers that I have consumed because tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY..... I usually am a birthday whore, I love my birthday, but this year I am not excited because I orignally planned to be a mom by now. :::Sigh::: On a side note, I got a fabulous purse from my mother today! I love it! Pictures hopefully tomorrow!

My God!

I can't seem to keep up with this thing! So much has happened in the past 3 weeks and I keep forgetting I have this blog. It is going to take sometime to remember that I have one. This past week we completed our first IUI. It was a rollercoaster! To recap the past week:
Went in Tuesday (August 24) for a midcycle ultrasound, doc was please with stimulation but displeased with the size! Went back on the following Friday, still not big enough! This broke my heart because I was really counting on getting the IUI done on the weekend! She asks me if I can come in Monday morning, I grimace but agree. She promised that she wouldn't charge me for this 3rd ultrasound. I really didn't want to go in a third time, not because of costs, but SUB PLANS! I hate being gone from my classroom, especially so early in the year, but I HATE doing sub plans, I would rather eat a flaming ball of shit than write those things. Fast forward to Monday morning: go in for a u/s check, follies look great,but lining is not where she wants it to be. She wants us to "trigger" at 9:00 that night. When I say "trigger" I mean a shot in the ass! The hubs and I debated if he could stick me, or if we should have our bestie R. come over and do it because he is a nurse and has some experience in this. Well Hubs was not going to lose points on his mancard so he said he would do it. The injection was Pregnyl, which is a recombinate of hCG---> human chorionic gonadotropin or the pregnancy hormone. It mimics LH-lutenizing hormone that is release to tell you ovaries to release an egg. So to make a hillarious long story short, when we got back from playing sand volleyball he had me lay on the bed. Now to clue you in, I am TERRIFIED of needles, always have been and no matter how many I am going to encounter during this journey, I don't think I will ever get over it. It took him 15 minutes to convince me that is going to be okay. I was bawling and saying " Just give me a minute". In the end after screaming during the injection it was done.
We went in on Wednesday . We started at the RE's office so Hubs could give a sample of his man juice. We were pumped and excited. After a lovely breakfast at VI we returned to get the sample. We head out to the Women's Center, get checked in, naked from the waist down and wait for the doctor. She comes in takes out the sample which came with a semen analysis report. She reads it to herself. I am noticed the concern on her face. She explains the report. Hubs count is way down from last time. The whole sample gave 56 million sperm. Sounds great right... WRONG. After he gave the sample they seperated the sperm from the semen. Then they get rid of all the dead sperm and useless sperm. After all of that we were left with 4 million good sperm. But it gets even worse than that. They look at forward motility or the ability to "swim" forward, they want 80-90% of them to be moving. We had 53%. Which means we only had 2.1 million effective sperm. Hubs was heartbroken, as was I. So now we wait. I can't even feel positive about this one. I just hope that one found its way. I hate this. I really hate this.