P to the a to the thetic!

I am pathetic excuse for a blogger. I really don't have an excuse as to why I don't blog. I am really trying to blog. The last few weeks I have been in turmoil. WARNING this is a woe is me post.... I have witness 5 pregnancy announcements. My work BFF is pregnant with her fourth child. I am super excited for them because they are having their 4th girl! We are godparents to their 3rd child and love the girls so much. We treat them like our nieces since our little nephew is so far away from us. My ute still aches though, she brought her ultrasound pics to school on Friday. I couldn't even bring myself to look at them. Oh I supposed I should update you, our fourth IUI was a fat fucking fail. I nearly done with this crap. We will be doing one more cycle with this nurse practitioner complete with an HSG and one more IUI. The HSG will be brutal since I have a messed up cervix and possible tilted uterus. We will be moving to Reproductive Endocrinologist next cycle. Financial funds permitting because we bought a new car!!!
There is also something else weighing on my mind. This is non baby related but my really good friend of 10 years is getting married in July. She has not asked me to be part of her wedding. She has asked another girl who is not nearly as close as we were in college. It really bothers me for some unknown reason. Probably because last week she referred me as her "roommate" from college and not her friend. I got one phrase for this situation. Eat shit. Seriously. She was in my wedding and I have kept in contact with her since college. But whatever, I don't know if I will even go to her wedding. I am hurt. My feelings are hurt. I want to confront the bitch but at the same time I don't want to.
Well off to run on the treadmill. Need to run off some of this anger.

Resolutions are for losers

Okay, so I already broke my resolution of blogging two times a week. But at least it wasn't 60 days between posts. Well, we are starting treatment again. I started Femara 7.5 mg today and will take it through Friday. I guess the positive side of this is I won't have the shitty side affects of Clomid. I will go in next Wednesday for a monitoring check up. Good God, is there ever an end in sight! At least I can start focusing on my training for the half-marathon which I signed up for yesterday. As a treat here is a photo from last years race, I am the one in all black.

I'm baaack!

Finally, after a 2 month hiatus, I have decided to give blogging a second chance. Thanks Mrs. F, for talking me back into it. Let me catch you up on the last two hellish months. Our 3rd IUI was a giant fail. We went in with 3 mature eggs and 9 million sperm and nada, zip, zilch. We were both devastated and angry. Both of which really weighed on our marriage. So we made an executive decision to take a treatment break for financial and emotional reasons. Since then I have started working with a trainer at my gym. He is the bomb diggity and has helped me tremendously focus my energy in other areas of my life. For cycle 18 we decided to try a non-treatment cycle( notice how I didn't say "natural" cycle) which ended up being another fat fail. We are currently on cycle 19 and are completing another non-treatment cycle. We are very hopeful for this cycle so we don't have to re-enter the horrendous world of treatment again. I am also beginning to train for a half-marathon in May. I did one last year and loved every minute of it. I will be completing this on the day after we return from FLORIDA!!! We will be going to Florida for a family vacay for a week in April. Can't wait, literally, can't wait. I will begin blogging not only about our infertility battles but about my battles on the treadmill. The treadmill and I are not friends, we have a love hate relationship which stemmed from running close to 200 miles last year for training for the half. I have made a resolution to blog at least 2 times a week, so America, as in the words of the Terminator, I'll be back.....

Here We Go Again!

This HAS to be a record two posts with in a week?? What?!?!?! I told you I was going to get better at this. Since Saturday I have been really trying to focus on things that make me happy instead of things that bring me down. We will have our IUI #3 on Friday at 10:15. Lucky number 3??? I hope so! We will "trigger" tomorrow morning. Here is a picture of the needle and the vials....

Lame

I know I have to be the worst blogger in the history of the world. To catch up, our second IUI was a fail, again. Everything looked great on paper. Great lining, fast response, hub's numbers were much better than last time. But in the end, it just didn't work out I guess. To make matters worse, two of my best friends have informed me that they are pregnant. God dammit. I am happy for them, really I am, but when is it ever going to be my turn???
So we are now on Cycle 17.Ughh. I am on Clomid again, a higher dose than last time. I really hate Clomid. It makes me crazy. I am bi-polar while on this medication. If this cycle doesn't work, then we are going to have to take a break from medicated cycles and go back to the old fashioned way. We are complete out of pocket with any treatments. Boo.